I’m Not Comfortable Feeling Uncomfortable (The Reason Why I Almost Threw Out My Copy of The First Bad Man)

Here is author Miranda July, looking like a real-life version of SNL’s Gilly. “Sorry!”

I’ve never really considered myself to be a sensitive person (and I don’t mean that in the emotional way. In that case, then yes. Yes I’m very sensitive.) What I mean is, I always thought I was hard to gross out. I mean, I watch ‘Tim and Eric’ without any hesitation and I’ve always had a strange spot in my heart for toilet humor. One would assume, I could handle some weird and uncomfortable stuff. But then came Miranda July’s book, The First Bad Man and all that changed.

I have never in my life found a book that hit all my triggers quite like this book did. And I don’t mean that in a positive way.

Trigger #1. Real Violence

For all the weird stuff I can handle, violence has always made me feel queasy, and that’s no exaggeration. I literally get nauseous if I see a person punch another person. Oddly enough, movie violence doesn’t have the same effect. I can handle that. My mind knows that it’s pretend. But if I see footage on the news of people fighting, that’s it. I’m nauseous.

When I started this book, I had no idea what it was about. Man, was I surprised when this book took a hard left turn into weird lady-fight-club land! Although the violence is fiction, it was written in a way that felt realistic. And clearly it was too realistic for me because with every punch, I felt the waves of nausea crash against me.

Trigger #2. Feet Smell

I have a particularly sensitive sense of smell. For example, I have been known to sniff out minor gas leaks and identify the colognes of strangers passing by. If I love a smell, I love it with all my heart. But if I hate a smell, my brain will not allow me to get used to it. Instead, it will torture me to the point that it’s the only thing I can think about. Even if it’s a phantom smell. Let me explain…

When we are first introduced to one of the characters, the narrator decides to mention how bad the person’s feet smell. The description was so vivid, I felt like I could smell those stinky feet too. It grossed me the hell out. However, I decided to forge on with the hope that the description would be a one time occurrence. To my dismay, the feet were mentioned again. And then again and again. And to make it worse, the author decided to mention the stinky feet smell during a scene where the narrator was describing one of her sexual fantasies. The combination was so horrific that I found myself completely balled up on the couch, concerned that I was going to be sick.

Trigger #3. Very Unsexy Dirty Talk

I know calling oneself a prude is not flattering. No one wants to be a prude. Unfortunately for me, deep down, I shamefully have prude-ish qualities. I think these qualities stem from a watching a lot of music videos on VH1 at a very young age.

For a brief time when I was very young, I was was mildly obsessed with labeling things as “too sexy.” During this time, I became really great at censoring myself on behalf of my parents (who by the way, had no idea I was doing this). If a music video came on that was romantic or sexual in any way, I would think “this is not age appropriate for me” and deem it “too sexy.” I would then turn it off because in my mind I thought “I bet my parents will appreciate this.” You’re welcome mom and dad.

I would shy away from videos like Brian Adams’ “Have You Ever Loved a Woman,” Bon Jovi’s “Always,” and “Wicked Game” by Chris Issack (which in all honesty, I still think is way too sexy). I even had issues with this tape of French pop music I owned, which was all sung in French (a language I didn’t understand then and still don’t understand now). By tone alone, I declared that the duet, “Joue Pas” sounded “too sexy,” and felt I needed to turn that mysterious French smut off. Essentially, I was the Tipper Gore of my elementary school, slapping Parental Advisory stickers on everything I could get my 7-year old hands on.

Please note: If you have not seen the Bon Jovi music video for “Always,” stop what you’re doing and watch it right now. This video has everything. Keri Russell with full-blown Felicity hair!! The jerk guy from Hocus Pocus! And betrayal, art, and a jealous lover who blows up million dollar apartment for no reason whatsoever! It’s a real A+ music video.

Anyway, as an adult I like to think that much of that prude-ness has worn off, but I suppose some of it still must live deep down within me. Case in point, this book. When the character starts with the dirty talk (which by the way felt so unbearably forced and unnatural for the character) I couldn’t handle it. The overt pornographic descriptions were not sexy or funny. They were just…uncomfortable.

With that, all three of my triggers were hit. Violence, feet, AND bad dirty talk?!

I found myself barely able to hold the book upright. I was so nervous about what was to come, I found myself reading through squinted eyes (as if squinting them would protect me from reading any more gross detail). As I continued to read, I could feel the pains in my back getting stronger and stronger. I was cringing. My entire body was literally cringing. And page by page, it got worse. More violence. More feet. More awkward sex.

So at page 120, I slammed the book shut. I decided right then and there, it was OK for me to abandon the book.

An accurate portrayal of me at page 120

Although I was pissed at myself for not finishing, I realized that reading is about having fun, and I wasn’t having fun with this book. Although I celebrate feeling new things through literature, I realized that it’s OK to not want to feel everything. Sadness? Sure! Bring it! New points of view? Humor? Fear? Ok, Yea! Let’s do this! But discomfort? No thanks. I’ll pass.

However, I did see a lot of positive reviews about this book on the Internet. So, I ask those of you who read Miranda July’s The First Bad Man, what do you think of this book? Were any of you able to power through? What did you think of the story? Share your comments below!

And if you haven’t read this one, have you ever had a book that made you so uncomfortable you had to abandon it? Tell us all about it in our comments section!

May’s Reads—Why These Books?

Hello Not So Book Clubbers!

Are you seeing what I’m seeing right now? Sunshine, people! Real, beautiful, Spring sunshine! I’m so excited my eyes are welling up with tears (sure, this may be 100% due to allergies but I will pretend otherwise).  So excuse me if this post seems hastily written. I’m dying to go sit outside and bask in it before Mother Nature tries to take another dump on my head. Oh Spring!

This month I kept my eyes and ears open, waiting for the books to present themselves to me. I didn’t want to force this selection, so I stayed away from my usual “must read” lists  and decided to go based on those magical moments when people sell you on a book through natural conversation. Although I was sweating about this until I finally found my third on Easter, I’m glad the list came to be this way, and I can honestly say I am really excited for all three books this month!

1. Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls – David Sedaris

My good friend (and NSBCBC Podcast contributor, Amanda) told me about this one. Actually, she’s been trying to make a Sedaris book an NSBCBC Read for months! She truly loves David Sedaris and I can absolutely see why. This girl has got so many hilarious stories about growing up that I think she and David could be kindred spirits.

One of Amanda’s stories includes this terrifying ventriloquist dummy named Charlie McCarthy. Recently he appeared at one of our hangouts and naturally we used him to scare the dogs. Today, when I texted her asking for the name of her “puppet,” she didn’t know who I was talking about because she refers to him as “her friend.”

For those of you who are unfamiliar with David Sedaris, he is a writer who typically pens comedic memoirs. Now I know last week I went a little crazy bashing books of this genre, but it’s important to remember—Sedaris is a writer before anything. He’s no celebrity taking a crack at writing because… you know, someone said “I’ll pay you lots of money to yammer on about your life!” He does this because this is true talent.

Anyway, where were we? Right! David and Amanda are kindred spirits, and here is why. With Amanda’s stories, it’s all about the delivery. When listening to her stories, she adds so much of her personality to the tale, it’s no longer just about the words— it’s the word emphasis, the dramatic pauses, and the character voices. These are what truly bring her stories to life. And upon her request, this is how we should consume our Sedaris books because (as her kindred spirit) he delivers his stories in the same fashion that she does.  

Self explanatory.

Ask anyone who listens to NPR around the holidays and they’ll agree. (The reading of his Crumpet the Elf  story from The Santaland Diaries is the perfect example of David’s delivery. His dry tone tells all.) So, for this collection of hopefully-hilarious Sedaris essays, I will do my best to consume majority of it via audio book, and apparently you should as well.

 

2. The Forgiven – Lawrence Osborne

Last weekend, while strolling around NY’s lower west side (killing time before heading to a brunch where I dove into a pit of bottomless mimosas), I stumbled upon a tiny shop that emphasized everything I love about bookstores. The warm mahogany bookshelves were filled with copies of literature from past and present, my fellow patrons appeared to have deep interest in the books they were sifting through, and the staff was genuinely enthusiastic to talk books with me. While I was checking out, one employee noticed me glancing at a new release from an author I had never heard of. When I asked about the book he said that it was good, however the author’s previous book was adored by the entire staff and that it was their favorite book of that year.

And here is said bookstore!—Three Lives and Company. Find more information about this perfect little shop here, at threelives.com

He brought me over to Lawrence Osbornes’ The Forgiven and said if I was looking for something thrilling, dark, and exciting this was the book for me. He apparently read it in just a few days (as did the rest of the staff), and he insisted that if I were to start this book, I too would tear through it in no time.

The story, described as “haunting,” takes place in Moroccan desert, and shows how a seemingly random accident can either tear apart or bring together people from vastly different cultures.

To learn more about it, or to pick up a copy (in cause your local library doesn’t have it available), you can find it here: http://www.amazon.com/The-Forgiven-Novel-Lawrence-Osborne/dp/0307889041

3. The Dovekeepers – Alice Hoffman

My aunt Rhonda has impeccable taste. Her house looks like it should be in Martha Stewart Living, her clothes are always fabulously unique items from little boutiques, and everything she ever recommended to me (from bronzers to books) have been real winners. So, when she told me about Alice Hoffman’s The Dovekeepers, I listened.

First thing I will say, ignore the cover because from what I heard, it’s so much more interesting than what that cover depicts. (I’ve said this before, but I do think covers play into my desire to read a book. I would have never picked this up off the shelf unless I had someone tell me I should.)

Always a sucker for a good pun…

The story’s synopsis is so much more powerful than that image. Hoffman’s story takes place “nearly two thousand years ago” when “nine hundred Jews held out for months against armies of Romans on Masada, a mountain in the Judean desert. According to the ancient historian Josephus, two women and five children survived.” (Amazon.com)

My aunt emphasized that this book is “truly beautiful,” so I’m excited to jump into this one. I’ll just have to make sure I have a box of tissues handy because typically when someone describes something as “truly beautiful,” all I hear is “you gonna cry, girl.”

 

And those my friends are your May NSBCBC Reads! Hope you’ve enjoyed April’s and hope you’re ready for May!

And get ready for a new NSBCBC Podcast (which can be found at NSBCBC.podbean.com)! We are recording this Sunday, so if you have any book-related topics you’d like to hear discussed, shoot them our way! Post your suggestions on the facebook wall (https://www.facebook.com/nsbcbc), tweet us @notsobookclub, or post them right here on the wordpress!

 

Happy reading!

– Nina Sclafani

Founder of The Not So Book Club Book Club

Haven’t heard last months’ podcast yet? Check it out here at NSBCBC.PODBEAN.COM!

 

April’s Reads – Why These Books?

Our NSBCBC April reads, as selected by you fantastic people.

Last week I asked for some help. I wanted to bring the Not So Book Club Book Club to not only a wider audience, but also I wanted the audience I already had to help me make this club even better. I asked for suggestions on how to increase participation and I asked for suggestions on what we should read next. Man, you did not disappoint. You sent in really wonderful suggestions and in doing so, you got me all sorts of pumped up for the future of this book club.

Over the past couple of months, I have had numerous people tell me that because of the book club they want to read more. They may not be reading the NSBCBC reads within the span of the month, (Hell, they may not even be reading any of the NSBCBC reads!), but they are reading. This victory, however small it may be, shows that what we’re doing together is working. We’re starting the conversations about literature and we are motivating others to share in the stories we are diving into every month. I don’t know about you, but for me that is just the best, and it makes me want to do even more.

So with that said, I’m happy to announce that this weekend we will be recording our first Not So Book Club Podcast episode! On the podcast (which will be available free to stream on nsbcbc.podbean.com) we will be discussing an array of literature-centered topics. And fear not! You do not have to read the books in order to enjoy the podcast! Anyone who enjoys reading, pop culture, technology, ect. will be able to enjoy this. I’ll post more about the upcoming podcast later this week on our facebook page (facebook.com/nsbcbc), twitter account (@notsobookclub), and instagram hashtag (#nsbcbc).

The Not So Book Club Podcast- Just like Delicious Dish, but with even more sexual innuendo! Impossible you say? We shall see…

 

And now, without further ado, your April reads.

 

1. “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) by Jenny Lawson

From what I have heard, Jenny Lawson (aka “The Bloggess”) is a pretty funny lady. Actually, I read her autobiography paragraph on her blog (http://thebloggess.com/about/) and it’s true. She is funny. And what do we desperately need as we slowly emerge out of the hell that has been this never ending winter? Some humor. Actually, I’m going to let my lovely friend Alison sell you on this book, as she did me. She happily pushed me over the edge with this comment:

“My first recommendation is the quasi-autobiographical/hilarious book, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson (aka The Bloggess). I cry a lot when I’m reading a great story but this one had me crying of laughter. John kicked me out of the apt for laughing too loud and the patrons of Starbucks were none too pleased by my presence.”

So there you have it. Let’s laugh inappropriately in public together, gang.

 

2. “Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto” by Chuck Klosterman

My husband doesn’t read all that much, but when he does he tends to read books that have an air of cool around them—cool books that I thought I was not cool enough to get. Anyway, a few years back he read this “too cool for me” book (as did pretty much all of my male friends), and I thought they read it based on the title. Of course these fellas would be attracted to a book titled “Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs.” It’s like their altered lyric version to the von Trapp children’s “My Favorite Things!”

The books I choose to read, vs. the books my husband chooses to read, as represented Steve Urkel and Stefan Urkel.

When it was suggested, I was skeptical. I didn’t think that even all these years later, I’d be cool enough for this book. But then I read the synopsis, and teeny part of a single sentence sealed the deal for me.

“Whether deconstructing Saved by the Bell episodes…”

Pause. Yes. Done deal. We’re reading it. I’m cool enough. Or it’s not that cool. Whatever. I’m in.

The rest of the sentence went like this,

“…or the artistic legacy of Billy Joel, the symbolic importance of The Empire Strikes Back or the Celtics/Lakers rivalry, Chuck will make you think, he’ll make you laugh, and he’ll drive you insane — usually all at once.”

And so, it was chosen.

 

3. “Beautiful Ruins” by Jess Lawson

This was suggested by a NSBCBCer who reads a lot. She seems to have read every book that has ever been popular, ever.  I’ve gazed upon her book collection and have felt the tinge of jealousy that she has somehow over the years, despite her insane schedule, managed to read what seems to be every book to have topped the literary world. So, when she suggested this, I took it seriously.

I’ve considered putting this book on our list for a few months. It found it’s way onto many Best Of lists from 2013, and that always is a pretty good start. It takes place in Italy and everything about the cover screams “warmth!” to me. Perhaps this is so vitally important because currently I’m wearing two sweatshirts, am hiding under a down comforter with a micro fleece blanket on top of that, and when I accidentally poured scalding hot coffee on my own hands this morning, I felt more relief than pain. Have I mentioned yet that I’m over winter?

Here is a candid picture of me from this morning, as I wrote this blog post.

Anyway, I’m not describing this story with any justice. I think my brain is frozen. Read the synopsis here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11447921-beautiful-ruins?from_search=true

I think you’ll dig it.

 

With that, this already too long post must conclude.

Happy reading book clubbers! I look forward to another great month of reading with you!

And thank you everyone who sent in suggestions! Every book felt like it would have been great, so stay tuned. You never know if your suggestion will be a part of May’s list!

 

– Nina Sclafani

NSBCBC Founder

Facing Our Monsters

One of the many beautiful and powerful images found throughout Patrick Ness’ A Monster Calls. Illustrations by Jim Kay.

Call it what you will— fate, luck, or total coincidence— this week, I was met with a story that felt like it was waiting for me to read it for the past 9 years.

As you may know from reading my blog, when I choose the NSBCBC reads, I base my book selections on reviews, interesting synopsis, recommendations from friends, and the like. However, when I finally crack open these books, I am as new to the experience as you are, so I never truly know what to expect. It is this uncertainty that highlights how amazing it is when you open a book and feel like a greater power has brought that book into your life. So by serendipity or by chance, this happened to me yesterday. Patrick Ness’ A Monster Calls found its way into my life, and touched parts of my heart and soul in ways I could have never expected.

In 2005, my grandfather died from lung cancer and losing him was the most prominent and painful death I have ever experienced. He was a man that was stern, and old school, and so incredibly loving despite the fact that he seemed tough as nails. But as cancer does, it stole him from our family and robbed us of the many years we planned on living together. From his diagnosis to his final weeks, time went by in light speed. Despite the medications, changes in diet, and efforts of my incredible family to help him, the disease was so aggressive, you’d blink and in that millisecond he’d appear paler and thinner. However, for the last week of his life, it was if time had decided to cruelly slow down in order to draw out all the fears and pain of our family.

Although it has been almost 10 years, our family still feels the deep sadness of losing one of the greatest men we have ever known.

2003 – Mohonk Mountain House. Here is my handsome grandfather, Albert Molesphini (left) with his fantastic brother John Molesphini on our amazing family vacation to the Mohonk Mountain House in New Paltz, New York.

Now, when I picked up A Monster Calls, I knew the general plot. A young boy, dealing with his mother’s cancer, is visited nightly by a monster whose purpose is to help the boy face his fears. However, I didn’t automatically associate it with my grandfather’s cancer. The word “cancer” has become such a part of our vernacular that I didn’t believe this story would (or could) feel tailor-made to my own experience. But as I read, I could feel the deepest parts of my heart tighten from the pain all over again, and things I tried so desperately to suppress reemerge. I found myself transformed into the protagonist and it was me who the monster was visiting—forcing me to face my fears of death and loss all over again. But as the pages flipped by, I felt the walls I’ve built up over the past 9 years slowly break down, piece by piece, and by the end I was exhausted. With my face and shirt soaked in tears, I felt like I made my way through the last week of my grandfather’s life all over again, but came out seeing a new light—a comforting light. And with this light, I could revisit the loss, remember the love, and continue to move on.

One of my favorite family photographs, taken around 1990 (?) in our vacation home in the Poconos. Pictured with my grandfather is my equally amazing grandmother, Faye Molesphini, and on the bottom is a cake-hypnotized me, my cousin Anthony, and my older sister Kristen.

A Monster Calls felt like therapy to me. It felt deeply personal and allowed me to reach into the darkest parts of myself and emerge a better person. And it’s this experience that only solidifies my love of books even more. Books allow us to have truly human experiences, even when we don’t feel comfortable sharing those parts of ourselves with others or when we don’t think we have the strength to get through a conversation. They can give us comfort, make us laugh, and make us cry. They can guide us, or scare us, or expose us to new worlds. And sometimes, they can find their ways into our lives, may it be by fate or chance, and help us face our own monsters when we least expect it.

March’s Reads- Why These Books?

The March 2014 NSBCBC Reads!

This month, I decided to turn to more best-of lists to find our latest reads. All 3 of these books were selected from a mix of Goodreads reviews, Amazon best-of 2013 lists, and NPR recommendations. I’m really excited to read all 3 of these, and hope these help make the final days of winter a little easier! (I have my fingers crossed that by the time I’m on the 3rd read of the month, I’ll be able to read outside and bask in the spring sunshine.)

1. A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness (Original concept by Siobhan Dowd)

For the first book, I decided to mirror the month of March and charge in like a lion—a really sad, disturbing lion. Although you will find this book in the YA section of your library, it is a complex, graphic-filled novel that is filled to the brim with emotionally heavy themes. From the reviews I saw, apparently this book will leave us devastated. Now, I know you’re thinking “devastated, huh? Sounds REALLY fun!” But I urge you to take the journey with me. The synopsis is too interesting to pass up!

The story explores the fears of loss and the unknown, and tackles “monsters both real and imagined.” The novel (originally conceptualized by writer Siobhan Dowd—whose premature death from cancer prevented her from finishing the story), follows a young boy named Connor, who is haunted by a monster that visits him every night starting at the beginning of his mother’s cancer treatments. Paired with hauntingly beautiful ink drawings, this novel brings a deeply moving experience that will help us understand how to overcome our own monsters.

And if that doesn’t sell you, read this excerpt from the New York Times:

“There’s no denying it: this is one profoundly sad story. But it’s also wise, darkly funny and brave, told in spare sentences, punctuated with fantastic images and stirring silences. Past his sorrow, fright and rage, Conor ultimately lands in a place – an imperfect one, of course – where healing can begin. A MONSTER CALLS is a gift from a generous story­teller and a potent piece of art.

—The New York Times

2. The Golum and the Jinni by Helene Wecker

I’ve always loved magical realism. The idea that mystical creatures could live among us regular folk has always made me smile, and in a way I have always hoped for it to be a real possibility. For example, although I’m 27, I am still holding out hope for an invitation to Hogwarts. (By the way…To the Admissions Office of Hogwarts, Seriously guys. I’m not getting any younger here.) So when I saw the synopsis of Wecker’s debut novel, I was very interested.

The story is about two mystical creatures (a golem and a jinni—and no, not Gollum from Lord of the Rings and Genie from Aladdin, although that would make for a really fun pairing) who go on a magical journey. Together, they experience the many different cultures of New York City during the turn of the century, and create a bond that defies their own cultural boundaries.

Unfortunately the story does not follow these two, but if someone ever wanted to write that, I’d almost certainly HAVE to read it. I mean, what a dynamic duo!

3. The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer

Shamefully, the bright colors of the cover were the initial reason I checked this book out (Props to the cover artist!). Then the synopsis drew me in a bit further.

The story follows a group of friends who meet at a creative arts camp in the summer of 1974. Throughout life, each of these people pursue their own creative passion, yet only some become successful, while others don’t. The story explores the dynamics between the group as they struggle to incorporate creativity in their lives as they grow and face life’s many challenges.

I also chose this story for my own selfish reasons. I always felt like my group of friends were particularly creative and talented (too much horn tooting?). Now that we’re in our late twenties, we are still exploring our creative sides—just some more than others. I felt like this story would be relatable, and I kinda wanted to see what happened to this creative group, perhaps out of curiosity for my own life’s path.

So there we have it! The March Reads for 2014. Make sure to post your thoughts, art work, poetry, and more to the NSBCBC Facebook page (facebook.com/nsbcbc); tweet us at @notsobookclub; Instagram your reading experience with the #nsbcbc hashtag; and share The Not So Book Club Book Club with your friends! The more readers, the merrier!

Happy reading!

– Nina Sclafani

You Are What You Post – How Reading Changed the Way I Look at Social Media

A snapshot of my Facebook lookback video. 10 years of glorious social media addiction captured in a 50 second video.

This past week, Facebook celebrated its 10th anniversary, and like myself I’m sure you only knew this because of the flood of lookback videos that filled your newsfeed. Like everyone else, I also took my stroll down memory lane and relived my years of social media-ing. I laughed at silly pictures and smiled at the collection of status updates that chronicled the biggest moments of my adult life. All in all, it was nice to see. As a snapshot of the past ten years, I was perfectly happy with it. Nothing too embarrassing. Nothing too schmultzy. It was a pretty decent representation of my life on Internet display.

Well actually, that’s not entirely true. There are things floating around the Internet from the early 2000’s that still manage to make my face turn red. For instance, my old Livejournal. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Livejournal, it was a site that functioned as an online diary (kind of like an early version of a blog). High schoolers would use it to spill their guts about crushes, day-to-day activities, and things they found funny or frustrating. But here’s the crazy thing—it was public. You wrote your most unedited and candid thoughts so your friends could read them. Going back and reading my own, it was clear—I had no tact. It was like someone cracked open my head and spilled out every thought my adolescent brain could muster. To call these journal entries embarrassing is an understatement. And then there was Webshots, which was the first place where my friends and I could publicly post pictures. It was filled to the brim with incriminating pictures of underage drinking and questionable fashion choices. But in some kind of Internet miracle, this past November Webshots wiped their data base clean and all photos that were once posted on the site no longer exist. Don’t believe me? Google yourself. That disastrous picture of you at a party in 2005? Gone!

I was lucky enough to make my poor Internet choices on sites that lost their popularity early on, but for those whose first crack at using social media was Facebook, they weren’t so lucky. With Facebook’s Timeline, every post you’ve ever made is readily available as long as you continue to scroll. For some people, you don’t even have to scroll very far down (or not at all) to find posts that portray them in a light less flattering, and this week in particular, I saw a few posts that really flaunted that. These were posts that went viral on Facebook and highlighted one of the biggest mistakes people make when using social media—posting without a discerning eye. These were posts that said more about the people who posted then I think was ever intended.

Shake My Head Moment #1: The Sochi Olympics Opening Ceremony Rumor

Headlines only! Apparently no one bothered to check the source of this faux article which circulated around Facebook following the Sochi opening ceremony.

Numerous times this absurd headline found its way onto my newsfeed, and of all the talk slamming the Sochi Olympics, this one really took the cake. The headline read, “Man Responsible for Olympic Ring Mishap Found Dead in Sochi.” People were outraged, making comments like “what a f’ed up place Russia is,” and how they were “officially NOT watching or supporting these games anymore.” However, it was clear that these people A) Only read the headline, and B) Didn’t check the source of the article. They didn’t bother to read the actual article (where they would have found ridiculous fictional quotes throughout), and they didn’t bother to google “dailycurrant.com,” because had they done so, they would have read that it’s a fictional news blog. But the post was made and the damage was done.

Shake My Head Moment #2: Miley vs. Duck Dynasty

So…. what is being said here? Sex is bad? Praying is cool? Homophobia is a sin? Miley is bad at dancing? Free speech for some?

Then there was this gem. Right off the bat this picture made me cringe and it only got worse when I read the comment threads. The comments were a mixed bag of anti-gay rants, pro-religious messages, and a few free-speech statements here and there.

For those of you may not remember, this past year Phil Robertson of the A&E’s Duck Dynasty got in hot water for insulting the black community, and for calling homosexuality a “sin” and not “logical” in an interview he did with GQ magazine. Following the interview, A&E decided to suspend Robertson from the show in order to distance the network from his opinions. A&E received backlash for their decision, with Internet bloggers and talking heads stating this violated Robertson’s “right to free speech,” and soon after, he was allowed back on the program. Since the controversy, according to Time Magazine, Nielsen ratings show the program has been steadily losing millions of viewers week after week. (http://entertainment.time.com/2014/01/23/duck-dynasty-takes-a-ratings-dive/).

However, you would never know any of that just by looking at the picture. What the picture shows is a family praying. It doesn’t actually address the issues that plagued the family following the GQ interview. So did the person who originally created this use this photo to say that we need more religion in our media, or did they use this picture to mask Robertson’s controversial opinion by depicting him solely as a religious family man? Clearly the people re-posting and adding to the comment thread couldn’t seem to figure that out either.

So, how does this connect to the Not So Book Club Book Club?

As English students, we were taught to read with a close eye and decipher the nuances of each story and character. Like detectives, we were taught to attack a story from numerous angles, and pick the text apart in order to fully understand it. We are introduced to new ways of looking at the world with each and every text we read, and those new perspectives stay with us as we function in the real world.

When I see a headline, I think like a reader and search for a credible source. When I see a statement photograph, I pick it apart as I would with a text and figure out who created it, why they created it, and who do they represent before I publicly form an opinion on it. Books have taught me be a critical reader, and have helped me better understand the millions of messages that are thrown at me on a daily basis.

When I look at a major platform like Facebook, I think of it as a high school auditorium. For a few seconds, that status update or article I posted is center stage, standing in front of a highly critical audience of “friends.” That post speaks on behalf of me regardless if  I’m posting something to be funny or to make a serious statement about how I feel. It tells the audience “this is who I am and this is what I believe.” And as long as I  approach my social media with the keen eye of a reader, only then can I fully represent myself to the best of my abilities.

Read more, think more, and represent yourself better.

You Do You – Satisfying the Different Parts of Your Personality with Books

In the same way that people have figurative skeletons in the closet, I have skeletons on my bookshelf. These are books that I once loved but now am slightly embarrassed about. Case and point: The Twilight series (I refuse to call it a “saga.” It’s just too much!)

Let us rewind to 2008. I was in the final semesters of my teaching program at Stony Brook University, and up to my neck in serious lit and education courses. I was also involved in a wonderful but long distance relationship with my boyfriend (now husband). My life bordered on being somewhat dull. It was a life filled with poetry I didn’t relate to, and phone conversations that recapped the monotony of our daily lives apart. Because of that, I began to long for some excitement. And so, in came the Twilight books.

Just like that, I fell into an exciting world filled with vampires, and werewolves, and Washington state (oh my!). I found myself involved in lengthy conversations about who I felt should be cast as Edward, and even went as far as creating a Facebook sticker (yes, these were once a thing) that said something along the lines of “I’d rather be dating Edward” (Good God Andrew, I’m so sorry).  And for the last nail in my Twilight-obsessed coffin, I went to the book release party at Barnes and Noble for “Breaking Dawn” sporting a Twilight t-shirt!

2008 – Here I am with my beautiful friend Alison, sippin’ on pure sugar “Edward” slushies, fully decked out in Twilight t-shirts, because that’s how you do Saturday night! No regrets!

Now, although I write this with a face that is slightly red from embarrassment, I have to be honest—at the time, those books were a lot of fun and gave me what I needed. With my boyfriend living 4 hours away and my days spent in the classroom, I craved excitement and romance, and I found that within the pages of the series.

Fast forward to 2014, although I pretend to have refined my taste in literature, I still essentially do the same thing. I feed my mind and soul what it wants. Last month, I wanted to experience what it felt like to be in outer space, so I picked up “An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth” by Col. Chris Hadfield. This month, I wanted to quench my yucky need for gossip, so I read “Most Talkative” by Bravo executive and host Andy Cohen. With each book, I satisfied a part of my personality that yearned for that element. (Sidenote: It’s a lot better to pick up a book and fulfill one’s need for gossip, rather than invite that sort of thing into your real life. Truth!)

My spirit animals, Donna and Tom from Parks and Rec, reminding us all that it’s OK to “treat yo self” to what you want…. even if that treat is a book that is widely panned by critics and friends alike.

I’ve learned to accept that it’s OK to like what you like, and that you should always feel free to read what you want because 1. You’re reading (which is fantastic) and 2. You’re satisfying something that your mind is craving. Although I don’t really relate to the Twilight books anymore, there was a time that I did. They gave me what my mind needed and so I’m thankful for those books. I’m grateful for Twilight! (I never thought I’d hear myself say that… at least publicly).

And so in short, I suppose if there’s a lesson to be had, it would be that no matter what a critic says about a book you love, or no matter how bad your friends make fun of you for liking a book, you should never feel ashamed for liking what you like, because there is no better judge for a book than you.

– Nina Sclafani

You do you! Satisfy your needs and embrace what you like!

Meeting the Challenge

I feared this would happen. The second I ordered the book off Amazon and received the email saying “Out of Stock! Will send as soon as possible,” I knew I was at risk. As per usual, I set up my NSBCBC reading goals, but I knew this shipping snafu would leave me with barely enough time to complete all three books. I feared the missing book would require the most time and energy, and that it would be sent to my house too late, leaving me with a meager week or two to tackle this Goliath. As predicted, this is exactly the situation I found myself in.

“S.” (the interactive concentration-requiring novel experience by J.J. Abrams and Doug Dorst) became the (enjoyable) bane of my existence. Every day I slowly sifted through the mystery and allowed myself to get completely wrapped up in the experience. But with only a few days left in the month, I couldn’t help but feel frustrated at myself for barely being able to reach my reading goals.

I voiced these concerns to my best friend and she pointed out how (and I paraphrase) these goals were all self inflicted and that

I made these goals,

I created the challenge,

I’m meeting the challenge,

and I’m bettering myself by doing so.

I realized that she was right, and despite my frustrations, these goals have led me to a new positive place in my life. They have led me to a path of self education.

I have enrolled myself in a school where I am both professor and student. I assign the writing assignments (the blog), I give the reading assignments (set daily goals for reading), and I have a strong desire to share the experience with others (others I want to “teach” or “learn with”). I have even found myself reading with a highlighter! And why do I do this? Because I have developed an intrinsic desire to learn.

This is how I feel on the tiny campus that is my home. In my fantasy world, there is signage and shirts with logos, so I can properly show off my self-ed pride.

Even subjects that I once despised, I now yearn to learn more about. When I was in high school, I absolutely hated the subject of science. Although I learned what I had to in order to pass, I did not feel the desire to have my questions answered. I was apathetic to the subject. But now I find myself reading National Geographic magazine… with a highlighter… and a pen…. for note taking! What has happened to me?!

This month’s National Geographic magazine is teaching me all about the brain! Note the highlighter and additional notes.
Prior to reading this article, the extent of my knowledge about the brain came from the 90’s classic film, The Babysitters Club. (“The brain! The brain! The center of the chain!”…. Anyone? Anyone?)

I think it all stems from my first months of unemployment. Post wedding, I allowed myself to spend days watching television while feverishly hitting the refresh button on facebook. I’d sleep in, not exercise, and not feel like socializing. (It’s ok. You can judge me for that. I judge me for that too.) I got so wrapped up in mundane, solitary life that when I spoke, I felt like I couldn’t even form intelligent sentences. My brain wasn’t working on all cylinders because it didn’t have to. I wasn’t challenging myself.

Then right before my husband and I went on our honeymoon, I instagrammed a picture of the three books I was taking with me and threw together a paragraph about wanting others to read with me. And so the Not So Book Club Book Club was formed. From that moment on, I felt I had a responsibility. I made a goal and a challenge to myself—to keep up with this project and to help it grow.

Since then, nurturing this project has made me want to nurture my mind. Meeting the goals I set for myself has given me purpose. It has made my days fulfilling, and although at times it can be frustrating (e.g. see paragraph 1), it has given me the desire to learn and better myself. And come the day I am once again gainfully employed, I will try my hardest not to lose sight of this feeling, because to me this is what life is all about.

Creating goals, meeting those goals, and bettering your mind.