I feared this would happen. The second I ordered the book off Amazon and received the email saying “Out of Stock! Will send as soon as possible,” I knew I was at risk. As per usual, I set up my NSBCBC reading goals, but I knew this shipping snafu would leave me with barely enough time to complete all three books. I feared the missing book would require the most time and energy, and that it would be sent to my house too late, leaving me with a meager week or two to tackle this Goliath. As predicted, this is exactly the situation I found myself in.
“S.” (the interactive concentration-requiring
novel experience by J.J. Abrams and Doug Dorst) became the (enjoyable) bane of my existence. Every day I slowly sifted through the mystery and allowed myself to get completely wrapped up in the experience. But with only a few days left in the month, I couldn’t help but feel frustrated at myself for barely being able to reach my reading goals.
I voiced these concerns to my best friend and she pointed out how (and I paraphrase) these goals were all self inflicted and that
I made these goals,
I created the challenge,
I’m meeting the challenge,
and I’m bettering myself by doing so.
I realized that she was right, and despite my frustrations, these goals have led me to a new positive place in my life. They have led me to a path of self education.
I have enrolled myself in a school where I am both professor and student. I assign the writing assignments (the blog), I give the reading assignments (set daily goals for reading), and I have a strong desire to share the experience with others (others I want to “teach” or “learn with”). I have even found myself reading with a highlighter! And why do I do this? Because I have developed an intrinsic desire to learn.
Even subjects that I once despised, I now yearn to learn more about. When I was in high school, I absolutely hated the subject of science. Although I learned what I had to in order to pass, I did not feel the desire to have my questions answered. I was apathetic to the subject. But now I find myself reading National Geographic magazine… with a highlighter… and a pen…. for note taking! What has happened to me?!
I think it all stems from my first months of unemployment. Post wedding, I allowed myself to spend days watching television while feverishly hitting the refresh button on facebook. I’d sleep in, not exercise, and not feel like socializing. (It’s ok. You can judge me for that. I judge me for that too.) I got so wrapped up in mundane, solitary life that when I spoke, I felt like I couldn’t even form intelligent sentences. My brain wasn’t working on all cylinders because it didn’t have to. I wasn’t challenging myself.
Then right before my husband and I went on our honeymoon, I instagrammed a picture of the three books I was taking with me and threw together a paragraph about wanting others to read with me. And so the Not So Book Club Book Club was formed. From that moment on, I felt I had a responsibility. I made a goal and a challenge to myself—to keep up with this project and to help it grow.
Since then, nurturing this project has made me want to nurture my mind. Meeting the goals I set for myself has given me purpose. It has made my days fulfilling, and although at times it can be frustrating (e.g. see paragraph 1), it has given me the desire to learn and better myself. And come the day I am once again gainfully employed, I will try my hardest not to lose sight of this feeling, because to me this is what life is all about.
Creating goals, meeting those goals, and bettering your mind.