For most east coasters, I think it’s fair to say that we would declare January to be our least favorite month. It’s cold, it’s full of snow, there’s no green growing, and no holiday to consume our minds. And in second place would be February—the month where all that garbage continues (Except in this month, we can decorate with hearts and celebrate love!) But alas, there is one more month that may perhaps be the sleeping giant vying for the title of crummiest month. The month that gives you hope, and then takes it away. It teases warmth and progress, and then pummels you with a wind chill of 20, all in the same week. That farty month is March and she has been playing some cruel tricks on me.
Now, perhaps this March is a uniquely rough one, and therefore I can’t entirely blame my negative feelings on the month. The complete lack of job interviews definitely plays a part. The hope I feel every time I send out an application to a job I feel I am perfect for, only to never hear a single word from the company. I never thought I’d find myself veer so far from my career path for this amount of time. But such is life.
So why is March taking all the heat? It comes down to this. With every hopeful application I send, there is an inevitable feeling of exhaustion that follows when the hope of the job is suddenly stripped away. March for me is the natural, physical embodiment of this feeling. The sun breaks through, followed by a frigid gust of wind, and rinse, and repeat.
I know this is completely affecting my ability to do what I love when it comes to this book club. For months, I have been writing about setting goals, and making room for reading in your lives. I’ve been touting that incredible feeling of accomplishment when you finish a great book, and have been pushing you all to find that same feeling. And here I am in the midst of March, not listening to my own advice. So how can I break free of that?
Well for starters, I have to be honest with myself about it. So here I am, being honest. I have allowed myself to become discouraged about the things I can’t 100% control, and in doing so have closed doors to potential opportunity, may it be with prospective jobs, or with reading. In closing those doors, I allowed myself to get sucked into the void of laziness. Sure, there absolutely are times where I can’t keep my eyes open the second I pick up a book, and there are times where I would rather receive my stories via television. (Sidenote: House of Cards and True Detective. Just do it.) I just need to be aware of it when it’s happening and push myself to snap out of it.
We all go through this at one point or another, and March seemed to be my month. And so here are my new goals:
I have to accept the time I wasted, and try to not waste anymore.
I need to grab my book, and rediscover why I love diving into these worlds.
I need to remind myself that feeling down about a situation is never helpful.
And I need to become Spring and kick March’s ass out of this place.
So excuse me. It’s time to start kicking.
I promise next week I’ll be back on track. Thanks for understanding.
– Nina Sclafani